Doctor's Appointment and Worry

Later today I will be posting my blogger awards.  I wanted to post something about yesterday. 

I had not had an annual exam at my Gyno for 18 months and was able to get an appointment yesterday.  Normally like clockwork I go once a year for a checkup.  I have had some aches in my side and I am also at the beginning of menopause.  Ugh.  I see a nurse practitioner in the OBGYN group that I have gone to for years.   There are some concerns and more tests have been ordered plus a consult with a doctor within the group.  I go to the lab for the blood tests this morning.

I had a 35 minute drive home from the doctor's office yesterday and immediately I started to worry all the way home.  Of course, I am one of those individuals that worries about everything and I instantly think of the worst case scenario.  My first thought was that when I die someday I will have to make sure that my best friend picks out what I am to wear in my casket as my husband has no sense of fashion sense and he has some color blindness.  Yes, this is my sick humor.

The odds are that perhaps I will need some minor surgery - perhaps I have a cyst.  But I am a worst case scenario person who wants to be prepared at all times.  When I was pregnant with my first child my water broke when I was 25 weeks along.  I was taken by ambulance to a University Hospital and two days later she was born and died.  I demanded from doctors that they be honest with me at all times.  They were.  Her chances were less than 10% chance of survival and I credit my recovery with the fact that they were honest with me. 

The following year pregnant with my son I was hospitalized with premature labor.  It was stopped and I was put on bedrest.  He was delivered 6 weeks early.  Again, during the hospitalization and throughout that pregnancy I demanded honesty about the baby and me.  I knew that I could hope, but that I was in a high risk pregnancy and had to be prepared at all times. 

This morning I sat on my couch watching the news.  The situation in Haiti is terrible and here I was wondering about my health.  Bottom line.  I will get the lab work done today, call the doctor tomorrow if I am not feeling better to see if they can see me sooner for a consult OR I will end up at the E.R. this weekend at the local hospital. 

I am my best advocate.  I am rarely sick.  For me to not feel well, and with knowing that there are some concerns by the nurse practicioner, is foreign to me.  I haven't had a health concern since my second pregnancy.

I know my body and waiting 3 weeks (consult appointment is Feb. 5th) seems ridiculous if something can be done now.  Worry can rob me of joyful days.  This is the last thing my family needs right now.  They need for me to get the meals ready, laundry done and get this home up and running better.  Our home needs to be more of a sanctuary due to other stressor's in my family's life. 

My DH's job is IMO - in the toilet right now.  He has a job, but new management is treating not only him but several employees terribly.  They can get away with it as there are no other jobs to be found right now.  Add to this stress the fact that his health insurance went up $32 per paycheck which we must now absorb into our budget.  Granted if I am having health problems I am grateful to have health insurance. 

I want to be feeling better and be healthy so I can concentrate on home and family.  Now I'm rambling and it is time to get to the lab for the blood tests.  Yuck -- I absolutely hate blood tests.