Life Re-Invented

I turned 56 years old on March 8^th.  For the past 6 months I have been working on looking at what I want to do beyond homemaking with my life.  I am determined not to work a paid full time job, preferring to live on my husband’s income and I am determined to not cloister myself in these walls of my home either. Finding a balance is the hard part.  Why?  Because I tend to make big plans and then I lose interest or a motivation to keep going. 

One day I sat down and brainstormed what I like to do.  I like to be busy, but I don’t want to be busy for the sake of being busy.  I do tend to get more done in every area of my life when I am busy because I am more apt to write things down on a calendar and make a plan .  When I have a lot of time on my hands, I waste it because I feel like I have all the time in the world to get things done.

I made a decision last fall to leave the church I had been attending for 7 years due to the fact that that church had become a “Country Club” church only wanting to minister to its members and not wanting to reach out to people in need in our community.  The church membership (and many leaders) is made up of several individuals who would rather come to church on Sunday morning, have coffee with the same people they had coffee with over many decades and leave feeling good about themselves.  A pastor that tried to get them to direct themselves to community outreach was pushed out as key vocal members only wanted to take care of their own people. 

My husband and I had been heavily involved in that church working with the

pastor to make changes such as having a coffee café, directing the lunch program to feed hungry kids at our church during the summer, reaching out to newcomers and becoming a hospitality individual for the small contemporary service that had been attracting a different “set” of people than what some of the old timers would accept.  Hence, we left.

It is a warning sign that it is time to leave when a church does not want to reach out to the poor.   Since then we have found a church in a town 15 minutes away that is awesome.  It is a true church in every sense of the word.  I have vowed that I will never become so involved in a church again and would prefer to be a worshiper only.  The sermons at this church are awesome and I take what the Pastor has said home with me for the week.  I am being challenged and stretched. 

All the hours that I had spent in service to my old church (close to 10 hours a week) were now open.  I made a decision that those hours would be better spent in service to non-profits in my community.  I was already volunteering many hours.

So in January I designated three non-profits as ones that I wanted to donate my time to.  I had already been involved with these organizations but not at the level I am now.  These non profits are the local animal shelter of which I am a Board member, the Summer Lunch Program that I direct and a non-profit dedicated to serving victims of domestic violence. 

Being “happy” busy is good for me.  Being “over the top crazy busy” is not.  I am finding a balance in my life and I have re-invented myself as a Professional Volunteer and Homemaker.    I am committed to volunteerism and making a difference in my community.  I am committed to my home and family.  I have tailored made a “work” and a “home” life for me.  My volunteer work can be done for the most part on my own time and schedule.  I can fit it in just as I fit in my homemaking activities.  I am the master of my schedule. 

When I worked a full time job that I had loved, I had to do the work in an office setting away from my home and during office hours.  Now I can work things into my schedule where I want them.  Yes, I have board meetings to attend and for the most part they are scheduled according to everyone’s schedule. 

To stay healthy mentally and to keep depression at bay, I find that especially during the winter months being busy is the best thing for me.  I can work at home or take my work to the library.  This past winter has been the best winter I have had in over 5 years and it is due to finding the right balance for me. 

I can honestly say that I have found a life that works for me.  I am giving back to my community with my volunteer roles, I am able to have time with my family when I want and I can still be a home keeper. 

My new “career” is definitely tailor made to me, and gives me gratification.  I am very happy and I know it is because I am using my gifts and talents and not trying to fit myself into a mould that isn’t meant for me. 

Upcoming Posts:  My Volunteer Jobs defined.  Being busy and keeping the Budget in check.  Evaluating How I Spend my Time.  

The Path to Frugality is two years old

I have come a long way from when I started this blog two years ago.  I remember back then I fretted more over the fact that I didn't know how to set up a blog than I should have.  Blogging is fun and it has become my journal of what I have gone through over the past two years. 

I've been reading some of my posts from two years ago and it takes me back to a newness in my life.  Back then being home was so new and fresh.  I was rejoicing in my newfound freedom I had to my daily life.  My schedule was my own and I could pick when I wanted to do any household project. 

The first few weeks I started my day with a cup of coffee on the back porch while reading the newspaper.  Then it was on to a quick shower, doing my hair and makeup and deciding what I would do that day.  Reading those older posts helps me to stay grounded and on track to my goals.  I have strayed over the past two years and have spent money when I shouldn't have and each time I pull myself back on track.  When you fall, you get up.  Making one mistake does not mean throwing in the towel and giving up on everything. 

Two years later I still enjoy the freedom being at home has brought me.  My schedule is still my own.  I have added volunteer responsibilities to my daily schedule but I still choose when I want to do them. 

I have the same concerns that I did have back then as to if I could really make it living on one income as I am by nature a spender.  I've learned what pushes my "money" buttons and I've tried my hardest to stay away from temptation to spend money on frivolous things. It's hard to stay on track. But it was also hard for me to work a job and never have time to myself.  It's worth the trade off.

Tomorrow I will sit on my back porch and sip a cup of coffee (Green Mountain Nantucket) and instead of the newspaper I will be reading a book on my Kindle.   

Thanks to my followers and those that comment and read this blog.  You have become my friends and I value your comments and critiques.  I do my best to follow your blogs too.  I consider all of us "family" doing what it takes to survive in this economy and helping each other along the way by giving advice and great helpful hits.  Thank you my friends. 

My Day

Today was a day of this and that activities.  I finished the laundry, worked on the walls in the livingroom and picked up some fresh produce at one store and birdfood and squirrel corn at the other store.

The best part of my day was when I helped at our church with the elementary kids Wednesday program.  I was in charge of the games for these kids.  First we get together in the choir room and sing crazy kids songs, hear a Bible lesson and do a simple craft.  Then came game time.  We did the limbo and another game that consisted of keeping a balloon in the air with one hand.  Simple games and simple activities. The best part is listening to the conversations that take place during the craft time - the giggles of the girls.  One girl is always smiling and giggling - I love her.  Also I love during game time how the kids help each other out. 

Then it was a quick trip to Wal-mart for paint samples and more patching plaster and then back to church for the Senior High Youth group.  I helped with dinner, cleaned up and got home at 8:30 this evening.  Again, with the Senior Highs it is the conversation while they are eating and the laughter, teasing and fun. 

I'm exhausted in one way and refreshed in another way.  Ahhh - being around youth can really lift your spirits.  But for now I'm going to bed.

A not so Frugal Hair Day

I don't know a woman alive who doesn't like to have her hair look nice.  It doesn't have to be glamourous, but she wants to have a hairstyle that is flattering and looks good on her.  I am such a woman.  If you look at my profile picture you will see a hairstyle that I have sported for about two years now.  I like it because it is easy for me to style.  This is good since I am totally thumbs when it comes to styling hair.

In May I started to let my hair grow but I kept the same hairstyle.  The bangs got longer so I was able to pull them back with a barrette on top.  I liked the option of wearing my hair back if I wanted to.  Well the summer is hot and humid here in Iowa and the summer of 2010 didn't disappoint us.  My hair curls with heat and humidity so again, it was great to have longer hair to pull back and it looked nice.  Fast forward through a few months to last weekend. 

I was getting ready for bed last Friday night and I pulled my hair back with a clip to wash my face when I saw what I thought was my hair thinning.  I have thin hair to begin with so to have my hair thinning more sent me into a tailspin.    I spent the weekend glancing at my hair every now and then and trying to figure out if I was just being a little obsessive or if my hair was truly thinning.  My husband would probably say I was being a little bit obsessive.

To understand where I am coming from you need to know that when my mom was in her late 30's her hair started thinning to the point that she was nearly bald. She has worn wigs for over 40 years so imagine what was going through my mind when I thought my hair was thinning.

As we age and go through menopause I know that hair thinning can happen, but why now?  On Monday morning I called my friend Deb who cuts my hair and she told me to stop by her salon.  I did and she looked at my hair and told me that she could not see where my hair was getting any thinner and that the problem was I had let my hair grow too long.  I can get away with it in the summer due to the heat and humidity but in the winter when it is cold and dry my hair was lying limp flat on my head and giving the appearance of thinning.

She cut two inches and I now look like what my profile picture shows.  The result - my hair does not look like it is thinning and it has body.  Then I did a not so frugal thing, I purchased two products that I used to buy when I was working:  Redken Hair Thickener ($14.00 for 5 oz.) and Redken Rough Paste ($17.00 for 2.5 oz.). I extend the life of the Hair Thickener as I squeeze some of it in my hand, about half the recommended amount, and then I add a little water and mix it with a finger and then run this through my hair.  Even diluted this works great.  As to the Rough Paste I run a small dab of it through my hair after it is dried and styled.  Both of these products make a great difference on my hair and I cannot find a cheaper alternative on the market.  These products will last me three months, and although I wasn't happy paying $31.00 for these two items, I am completely happy with how my hair looks now.  I should probably do some research on the internet to see if it is possible to get these products cheaper elsewhere.

All of this happened on Monday which was my 30th wedding anniversary so I think that I was worth $31.00 for products plus another $25.00 for a cut and style on my anniversary.  It was kind of nice being pampered.

I guess I will not be joining the no shampoo movement. 

What I have learned is that while I may be able to cut back in certain areas, I may not be so happy to cut back in other areas.  $31.00 every three months is not going to be a hardship in our budget.  What will not be good is to have my husband deal with a wife who thinks she is constantly having a bad hair day. 

All is Well

Lately I have been saying to myself more and more "all is well."  Right now at this point in my life I am content.  It's weird that I am finding myself more and more a happier person which tells you something.  Looking back over the past few years I was miserable as I never had the time to do fun stuff.  I was always working, doing housework and rarely did I have time for myself.  I was okay.

I hate to admit it but I was really not a happy person.  Yes, I loved and still love my family immensely but work was in the way of my being a happy person.  For years I would put everything on "the back burner" and that included myself. 

My oldest son and his wife moved back to our town 2 weeks ago and for the first time in a long time I have my immediate family living near me.  It is wonderful.  They adopted a dog and now their dog comes to our house to hang out with our dog.  Our youngest son goes to visit them at their place and they come to our place for a meal and to visit.  I love spending time with my daughter in law.  It is nice to have another woman's point of view.

Last night my husband, sons and daughter in law all played a couple of games on our church softball team.  I sat in the bleachers for the first game with my "grand" dog and enjoyed the moment. 

School is out finally next week.  We had 9 snow days this year so the school year was extended.  No more homework help or worrying about math tests. 

Being surrounded by family and having time to do the things I want to do is happiness to me.  They say life is too short and I would agree with that.  In looking back over the past 30 years of my life I would have been happier if I would have never gone to work in the first place.  I had a wonderful career that I enjoyed but it took up all my time.  Now I am doing the things that I have always wanted to do but never had the time. 

Yes, "all is well."