August 10, 2010

Wrong Impressions

I need to clarify something from my post "Making Financial Decisions - Part 2" re my DH.  I quoted him as saying "Your job is to take care of us."  In only giving that quote, I fear I have given everyone the wrong impression of my DH. 

My DH grew up in a two income household.  In the 1960's his mom went back to college, got her degree and has been working in the field of social work ever since.  His father is a minister and he helped around the house a lot.  When I say help around the house I am talking about laundry, cleaning and other traditional "female" tasks.  They had a total of 5 children, so his father knew that he needed to pitch in and help and he did.

When we got married I was surprised at how much my DH helped me around the house.  He had quite the example in his father as in my DH's mind, there are no such things as male or female jobs.  There are just jobs and things that need to get done.

I am always second guessing things or as I prefer to say "I like to ponder a lot."  In the almost 30 years that we have been married my DH has never told me what to do.  I have worked all but a few of those years at jobs that I took because I wanted to work.  He is not over me in leadership in our household as we consider ourselves a team.  We make decisions together, although sometimes we both must think about the other person's viewpoint which could take a few days. 

My DH made that statement so I wouldn't keep "pondering."  In the end it is entirely up to me if I work outside of the home or don't work.  He wants me to be happy and I in turn want the same for him.

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