March 15, 2010
Ramblings on Weight Issues
Frustrated and disappointed is the best way I can describe how I feel today. I weigh myself every morning and this morning I weighed 144 lbs. (I am 5' 5" tall.) For me that is on the high end. I prefer to be at 138 lbs. I have been working out a lot and some of the added weight is probably some muscle. But it all isn't.
I almost hesitate to give the numbers as I know there are women out there that want to lose weight and would give anything for it to be only 5 lbs. They are facing a bigger challenge than I am facing. However if I don't get a handle on this now, it will be 10 or 15 lbs. by the end of the year. I would rather face losing 5 lbs. then a larger number.
Those 5 lbs. are on my hips and tummy and because of that weight gain jeans, pants and capris are tight and for that matter so are some tops.
When I hit 50 I knew that I would be facing what a lot of middle age women face: weight gain. Gone are the years of being able to eat whatever I want to eat and not have to exercise. Well, those days were gone in my late 20's.
Bottom line, I am not happy with my weight. I can do two things: buy bigger clothes or do something about it. I'm choosing to do something about it.
I've been to Weight Watchers in the past but am choosing not to go that route. It doesn't fit my budget. Instead I am cutting out all sweets and then I am cutting my portions in half and will be drinking a lot of water (flavored with lime juice the way I like it). In the past I have had one dress or pair of jeans that I hang up on the outside of my closet door for me to see. It is my motivation to lose weight so I can get back into that outfit.
My DH says that I am obsessive and too hard on myself when it comes to weight. He is right. I always criticize how I look in certain clothes and that is not healthy. I am not looking to be skinny and I am not trying to lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time. Instead I need to look at this weight loss and subsequent maintenance of my weight as a lifestyle change. I do not plan to buy any frozen low fat, low cal entrees to eat as I have done in the past but will eat smaller portions of whatever we are having.
Weight loss comes down to two things for me: restraint and resolve. If I can maintain restraint and not snack or eat a lot of unhealthy foods; if I can start to view food as fuel for my body and not as a quick satisfaction of hunger; and if I can be firm with this decision and resolve to follow this through and see that these changes are good for me, I will make it.
Sometimes I think that when hunger pangs hit, we automatically think we need to feed ourselves. Having hunger pangs for me will be a good thing. It means to me that my body is starting to use up some of the stored body fat and burning up those calories.
I already know what my roadblocks will be. I know that in the late afternoon and in the evening around 8:00 I want to snack. It's a good thing that the weather has been pretty nice as I will be going for walks during those times of the day.
If all goes well, by the time the weather is really warm I will have lost those stupid pounds. And what if I haven't? Then I will tell myself that I gave it a good try, am healthier for it and will have to work hard at having a better body image.