In previous posts I have talked about the need to lose weight and how some clothes do not fit anymore. Well, last week I had to sit myself down and have a reality check. I am not overweight. I actually do not need to lose weight.
Some clothes in my closet do not fit. The question is do I want to wear crop pants (or for that matter anything in my closet) that I purchased over 5 or 6 years ago? I lost a lot of weight too quickly 3 years ago and I knew that I would end up gaining it back as it was just a fact. You lose weight very, very fast and it will not stay off forever.
Instead I have made a lifestyle change by including exercise in my daily life. I have changed my routine somewhat in that when I work out on my Bowflex Tread Climber I go strong for 10 minutes, then I go slow for 5 minutes, then faster for 10 minutes, then slower for 5 minutes and finally I really go as fast I possibly can for 10 minutes and end with a 5 minute cool down. I used to workout on the treadclimber for 45 minutes straight.
My new workout is better for me in so many ways. I can handle 10 minute increments with a 5 minute slower pace so much better than 45 minutes of a straight workout. Also, it has tricked my metabolism. I have been doing this for 4 weeks now and I can honestly say that it has made a big difference in toning.
Tweaking my workout has helped tremendously. I am also at peace with my weight and how I look. Just because some of my "old" clothes do not fit me, does not mean that I am overweight. I am 51 years old and I am accepting of my "middle age" body. For 51 I look great and that is good enough for me.
Spending my day obsessing and beating myself up because I was unable to get into a pair of capris that I wore back in 2004, does not do me any service nor does it lift me up.
I know people that would love to be my size. There are people that truly struggle with weight and have a difficult time losing.
Three years ago I weighed 133 lbs. after I lost 12 lbs. very, very quickly. Now I weigh 142 lbs. BTW - I am 5' 5". I am healthier now by far than I was 3 years ago. I exercise and I eat healthier and I feel better too. Whole grains are a big part of my diet now as is a nice big (and I mean big) salad for lunch everyday. Then at supper I eat whatever I am fixing for everyone else, in moderation, and then that is it. Yes, I have cookies - 1 or 2 - and not 4 or 5. And for snacks, I love clementines, apples and I snack on a whole grain granola bar or whole grain cereal.
Women have a number in their mind of what they feel is a good weight for them. For me that number has been 135 lbs. Now I don't have a number. I just want to fit in clothes and look good and be healthy. I am not out to look like I did when I was first married - thirty years and three children later - well it isn't going to happen.
In getting older I must accept changes in my body. As we age we can gain weight and it is okay. Dressing to look good is what I am more interested in. I am a good person and I refuse to let my unhealthy body image define who I am and hold be back from what I want to become.
I purchased some new crop pants from JC Penney this week. They have had quite a sale so I ordered 2 pairs on line. I ordered size 12. I have been a size 10 for 15 years. The pants arrived yesterday and I tried them on. One pair is white. Okay, white crop pants can be a mistake, but I have always wanted a pair of white pants. When I looked in the mirror I was very pleased with my appearance. The fit was perfect - they weren't too tight and they weren't baggy.
This is a big deal for many women to move up a size. Do you know what I learned? Moving up a size is a good thing. Having clothes that fit without being tight is a self esteem booster. Hanging on to clothes that don't fit, opening the closet door and seeing them there is just plain draining on a person's soul.
Time to move on.
Today I will take all the clothing items out of my closet that do not fit me anymore. I refuse to hang on to the past and I'm moving on. And I am going to order two more pairs of size 12 crop pants.