June 11, 2012

Need to Catch Up

I realized last night that I haven’t posted anything for a week. Last week is a blur. The week began with a doctor’s appointment. My left knee was causing me quite a bit of pain when I would kneel and put pressure on it. It wasn’t getting any better and had been this way for a few months. It was getting worse so I made the appointment hoping that the doctor would pronounce it a “sports injury.” After all if you are going to have an injured knee wouldn’t it be cool to say it happened by over exercising? No such luck. I injured it sometime in the past few months by bumping it and it had not healed properly. Somehow I would think that I would know if I had bumped it that hard. So now I need to do some rehab exercises and take an anti-inflammatory medicine that also causes me to be drowsy. Yuck. I hate that, but you have to do what you have to do.

I worked four days last week. On Tuesday I worked from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. at the polls for Election day. I was exhausted. Then on Wednesday through Friday I worked for my friend at her Merle Norman store. She is in the middle of remodeling and there was a lot of work to be done. I exceeded my $100 a week earning/savings goal last week and earned $260 for my part time work. My friend wants me to work every Wednesday in her store and I would expect it would be for around 5 to 6 hours a week which suits me fine.

What else is going on? Depression. Yep. I realized last week that I have been having the “blues” which is mild Depression for me. I think what has led to it is that my life is a little overwhelming right now with responsibilities. We have our new puppy, Molly and she can be feisty especially early in the morning. She is housebroken now and we are spending time with her in obedience training. Molly is smart and by that I mean she is smart enough to know what pushes my buttons. We are working with her every day. Then there is our other dog, Griffey, who is towards the end of her life cycle and she has health issues. Add to all of this the extra people living with us and the household chores along with the home improvement projects and the stresses of dealing with finances and you have the recipe for being overwhelmed and depressed. 

So how am I dealing with it? First of all I am not taking an anti-depressant. I weaned myself off Paxil in February after we put our dog, Buddy, to sleep. I am choosing not to go on an anti-depressant for mild Depression. Instead I am learning to find ways to manage and live with it. At the top of my list is working out at Curves. I can’t believe how great I feel after working out. Working at my friend’s store on Wednesdays helps also. 

In dealing with Depression I know that I can’t let my days be subject to chance. I have to plan them. Today it is laundry, working out and having lunch with a friend. Then there is some cleaning that must be done. Tonight I will be ironing fabric so that I can get ready to lay a pattern out. Before I go to bed I will look ahead to tomorrow and plan what I want and need to do. It is a balance of work and play.

Let’s face it, even when you don’t suffer from Depression, you have your “down” days. Those are days when you aren’t happy and may feel a little low. Those days happen for me every day usually during the evening. How do I cope with evenings? I plan for them. If you know that you are going to feel depressed in the evening, then do something that you like to do. I spend my evenings reading books or watching a movie and spending time with my husband. 

However, if I feel my depression is going beyond mild, then I will of course call my doctor and get back on Paxil. I recognize what I can handle on my own and what I can’t. Life isn’t perfect and everyday isn’t filled with top of the mountain experiences. When I was on Paxil I was happy all the time, and that isn’t a bad thing, it’s just that I think I wasn’t coping with everyday life as I was too “drugged.” In my life, I need to experience the ups and the downs and be able to cope with both. 


Maureen said...

Glad to hear you are managing your depression without drugs. I am also managing to get by without taking anything, my worst times are in the morning as my day begins, but if I can force myself to get out of bed and get the day underway then I can pretty much manage from then on.

Good news on the work front, I am obviously not trying hard enough as I have not made a single dollar this week.

Debby said...

Congrats on exceding you income goal for the week! It is hard to find balance in life some days. I hate when I get overwhelmed by it all but maybe the hard days make the sweet days even sweeter.

Susan in SC said...

I have depression/anxiety as well. It was wonderful to read that someone else "plans" their day to accommodate feelings/moods! Thank you for sharing this!

Anonymous said...


I just found your blog. I was looking up Amy of the Tightwad Gazette. I live with depression. Just a suggestion, check out your vitamin D levels. I live in MN and sometimes my levels are low due to winter and the lack of sun. Just a thought.
Good luck,

Linda said...

I just found your blog...I feel like I found a gold nugget. I have walked the depression road for years and manage it as you are doing although it is necessary for me to use medication. I also try to be a good steward of our money by planning and saving so I feel like I have met a new friend who I can truly relate to. Thanks, Linda