Family Finances and Trust

Throughout our married life my DH and I have traded the job of keeping track of our money and paying bills. My husband is an accountant and for the past 12 years it has been his job to take care of our finances. I found out something about myself 12 years ago and that was that I was tired of taking care of our finances but I didn’t want to give up the control. That was dumb. My DH doesn’t keep anything from me and I ask questions every now and then. I trust him and I let go of my control to know about every single penny that we spent or earned. Letting go of my control did not mean that I let go of making financial decisions for our family. We do that together.

Being an accountant, my DH tracks our spending in different categories BUT he does not control what I spend. In other words he has never told me I could or could not buy something or spend more than I had planned on groceries for example. He trusts me and he knows that I am quite aware of our financial situation and I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize our finances. We do not have a weekly meeting about our finances. I know what our bills are and what our goals are for savings. If I have a question, I simply ask.

I trust him and he trusts me.

So, how do I know when our savings is running low or if money is getting a little tight? 1. He tells me. 2. I ask him. 3. I check our bank balance.

1. He tells me.

When I say he tells me that does not mean that he takes me by the hand and directs me to the dining room table where he has his laptop on and shows me an excel spreadsheet or a quicken report. He doesn’t go line by line to show me where we are over spending or where there has been an extra expense we haven’t planned. I live in this house too and I know when a vehicle has broken down, the plumber has been called to repair something and so on. I am aware of extra expenses. On the contrary, this is what is usually said: “We’ve had a lot of expenses over the past month.” That is all that he has to say to get the message to me that our savings are down, we have spent extra this month on whatever and we need to tighten our belts.

Last night, he said just that. I knew that in the past 30 days we have had car repair bills, doctor bills, optometrist bill for me (and my DS is going there this morning) and some other normal extra expenses. I thought we had stayed on track for our Christmas spending but as it turns out when my DH sat down and really “crunched the numbers”, we had overspent. YIKES.

2. I ask him.

Some couples put the role of family finances on one person and then they let that person carry the burden of that job. In the alternative the person that is paying the bills might not like to reveal what is and isn’t being paid. These are family finances and since we are a family I ask questions when I need to and I don’t leave the entire burden on my DH.

3. I check our account balance

I can go on line, check the balance at the ATM or call the bank. If I am getting cash from the ATM I always get the bank balance while I am there. I don’t put my head in the sand and let my DH take care of everything. After all we are married and we are a team. I want full disclosure and I can have it anytime I want it.

Action Plan

When my DH told me “We’ve had a lot of expenses over the past month” that sentence put me into action. (I might add that there was a certain tone to his voice that told me that he was quite concerned.) I started to make a list of any extra expenses I knew that we were going to occur over the next 6 months.

My DS wants a letter jacket. He has lettered in orchestra and when his brother was in 9th grade we bought him a letter jacket for lettering in cross country. It will cost around $200. Yes, this is not a necessity. It is a reward for hard work and he does deserve it. I will find a way to save up for that jacket.

Upcoming family birthdays, mother’s day, father’s day. We have in-law birthdays along with mine and my DH. I can make some gifts and others we will have to be a little more creative. For example, there is nothing wrong in purchasing used books or DVD’s for a gift along with a little homemade gift. I will work on making up a list of gift ideas and if I decide to sew or cross stitch a gift, I will need to plan ahead. I am already now thinking about Christmas 2010.

Vacation. We need to drive to Western New York this year where my mother lives. She lives in a small apartment so we will need to stay in a hotel. Between gasoline, hotel and food we have to save up quite a sum of money. Add to that the fact that my mother is not very nice to us (my own sister has totally disowned her); it is not a pleasant “vacation.” We only visit her every other year. Perhaps I will post sometime about what my life was like growing up and how that made me strive to be a better parent than my mother was to me. As a small taste, I grew up every day being told I was a “big dummy.” It is hard to set aside money for this major expenditure, all things considering, but she is still my mother and we have an obligation.

Major household repairs. Our roof is definitely showing signs of needing replaced. I do believe that we may get another year out of it. Our furnace is 28 years old (boiler furnace) and you just never know. We need to get more money into savings for this category.

Paint. We will need to paint our house again this summer. Paint is expensive and we don’t buy our exterior paint at Walmart. We will head to Sherwin Williams (the only paint store in town) to purchase a decent quality paint. Paint is expensive. A gallon on sale can run $30.00. We need to plan for this.

I think for some couples when they see what lies before them financially speaking it can be discouraging. But as I have said before, I am always up for a challenge. Yes, when the economy picks up I can go out and find a job. I really don’t want to do that unless it would absolutely be necessary. After all it doesn’t matter whether I am working outside of the home or not, the exterior of the house will still need to be painted, the downstairs of our house will still need to have the plaster repaired and painted and so on. These are all projects we can do and want to do. It is a tradeoff.

We have debt and are on track to having most of it paid off by August 2011. By then our only debt will be our mortgage payment and my car payment.

So where are we going to get the extra money to put in savings for our extra expenses? I am looking at that today. One major area is groceries. Last month’s pantry challenge only made a dent in what I have in the freezer and my pantry. Of course I did deviate from the challenge when I purchased some stockpiled items instead of only purchasing what was necessary.  Here is what my pantry and freezer look like as of today:

I also have another bin of brown sugar and confectioner's sugar

But wait, there is more ...

5 Bins of cereal items

Plenty of Pasta

How much toilet paper does a family need?

Yes, we have just the one freezer. 

I know - you must be surprised.

Now I'm starting think that I may have to sign up for that t.v. show on hoarding.

Today I am going to spend my morning making up an inventory of my pantry. Everything has been labeled with an expiration date or date of purchase. When I am putting items away in my pantry I always take a marker and write the expiration date on the outside of the item. Now I am going to go downstairs, sit at a table with my laptop and make up a spread sheet of exactly how many cans I have of what and when it is due to expire. I need to do this. Then I will know exactly what is down there and how I should be incorporating those items into my menu planning and get them used up before they expire. In the 1 year that I have practiced stockpiling I have not had to throw out anything due to an expired date of expiration.

This afternoon I am going to inventory and organize my freezer. I have been keeping an inventory list but I know there some things that I have taken out or some things that I have put in the freezer that missed the list.

I will then have the information I need to sit down and make up some menus for several weeks or even a couple of months or more. I am sure I will be surprised when I realize the amount of meals I will be getting out of my freezer and pantry. Also, I want to try some new recipes and this is as good of time as any to try some new food combinations.

As to stockpiling, while I am using up what I have in my freezer and pantry there frankly isn’t room for any “new” food in my freezer or pantry. I need to use up what we have and only buy perishables. Perhaps I should post what I have on hand and what meals I am going to make from those items. It would be wonderful to hear what others would suggest.

It has been exactly 6 months since I have been home. I look back over that time and see that we have had some setbacks financially but I have also seen areas of spending that we have reduced and made some positive changes in our finances. For savings we have always had an amount that we said we would never go under and unfortunately due to extra expenses we have gone under that amount. But we have not had to rely on credit cards for paying extra expenses. We have had the money in savings for those expenses and it is empowering not to have to reach for the plastic.

The extra money that we need to replenish savings and plan for future expenses is going to come from my basement. Yep, I will be grocery shopping from my basement for a long time. Kind of makes me think of when I was a little girl and I would pretend to have a store and would go grocery shopping in my mother’s kitchen. Maybe I need to find a little cart and download some grocery store music to my MP3 player so I can get the full experience.

New job for my DH

Back in January I wrote a post about worry and towards the end I told how I felt my DH's job was in the toilet.  Well much has changed.  12 days ago my DH received a phone call from the president of a local company.  He had a job opening and wanted to hire my DH. We know this man and when someone in his company took another job, he remembered my DH.

The job is a dream job, but it isn't without risks.  It is a smaller company than the one he works at now so in time it could be bought out by another company.  He has decided the regret of not taking that job far outweigh any risks. 

Since this has happened my DH is so happy.  He will be making the same amount of money and will receive the same benefits but there is a major difference.  The president of the company will be his boss and they mutually respect each other. 

We are blessed.

Sweating the Small Stuff

In order to live on one income, you can’t continue spending like you still have two incomes. Okay, everyone knows this, however some people don’t embrace it and find themselves in financial trouble. Expenses have to be cut when income decreases. It is just a fact.

In the past few months I have taken on the mantra of “Sweating the Small Stuff.” Yes small cutbacks on expenses can add up to big savings over time. However, it is getting into the mind set of seeing that those small savings on nickels, dimes and dollars adds up. We may think that it is not worth the trouble if it is only going to save a dollar right now. But over time, perhaps annually, it could lead to bigger savings.

Look at the big picture. That $1.00 a week saved by using a coupon or buying store brand cereal adds up to $52 annually. If someone said to you “I can guarantee you $52 in savings” you would listen.

Sweating the small stuff adds up to big savings annually. Here is what I have done with our budget (or challenge as I have come to call it):

Netflix – We reduced our membership to one at a time, unlimited. We are still able to get a good movie on dvd and we now make a conscientious effort to view movies or documentaries on line. Savings - $1.25 per week; $5.00 per month; $60 per year.

Haircuts for my DH and DS - I have learned to cut their hair. At the salon the stylist used clippers on their hair. Both were willing to have me give it a try. The cost of the clippers paid for themselves after 2 haircuts. Savings - $7.50 per week; $30.00 per month; $360.00 per year.

Laundry Soap – I make my own. Savings - $0.785 per week; $3.14 per month; $37.68 per year.

My Haircuts - I used to get my hair cut every 4 weeks and now I get my hair cut every 6 weeks. Savings – $2.00 per week; $8.00 per month; $96.00 per year

My Eyebrows – I would have my eyebrows waxed at the salon when it was time for a haircut. I now do it myself. Savings - $2.50 per week; $10.00 per month; $120.00 per year.

My Hair care Products – I used to buy my shampoo, conditioner, root lifter, etc. at the salon. I have found products such as Pantene and Suave that work just as well or better. Also, I add to the savings by using coupons for these products. Savings - $2.50 per week; $10.00 per month; $120.00 per year.

Pet Savings – We have a black lab and we use a lot of dog cookies over the course of a month. I now make my own using whole wheat flour, saved fat from meat, broth from cooking down bones and such. (As a side note, we only buy Iams dog food for our dog and our cat is on vet food. We will not skimp on their main food source.) Savings - $2.00 per week; $8.00 per month; $96.00 per year.

Magazine Subscriptions: When it has come time to renew some of my subscriptions, I have elected to let them go. I have found that even though I am home I still don’t have the time to sit down and read them. A lot of the “women” magazines repeat the same topics or articles and I can look at these online. Savings: $1.25 per week; $5.00 per month; $60.00 per year

Savings from above: $19.785 per week; $79.14 per month; $949.68 per year

Grocery Savings – By cooking and baking from scratch (I bake my own breads, noodles and so on), through the use of coupons and stockpiling sale items, I have reduced my grocery bill. I used to spend around $500 per month for the 3 of us. This is what I was spending when we went to one income. Now I spend between $250 and $300. Savings (if I use the $300 amount): $50.00 per week; $200 per month; $2,400 annually.

Savings with Grocery Savings added in: $69.785 per week; $279.14 per month; $3349.68 annually

The small stuff adds up.

Notice what I am now saving per week on laundry soap. It is less than a dollar but over time this adds up. On other items the savings are $2.00 or $2.50 per week. Everything adds up.

Don’t get discouraged by thinking that it is useless as you can only save a small amount of money at a time. Get a jar and put the savings in that jar and watch it grow. Get yourself in the mindset of saving and finding ways to cut back.

As to Future Savings:

Landline: we are considering dropping our landline. Savings - $2.50 per week; $10.00 per month; $120.00 per year.

Flowers for my flower garden: I harvested the seeds from last year’s garden and will plant those instead of buying seeds or plants. I plan on being patient and waiting longer in the season so that I can buy plants at a significant price reduction. Last year I paid $200 for plants. I should be able to save $150.00 with this plan.

Gasoline: When the weather gets warmer, we will be doing more walking or riding bikes to our destinations.

Throughout the day as I am doing housework or taking a walk, I think about other money saving ideas and I write those ideas down and try them out later on.  If you were to ask my family if they feel deprived by any of the cut backs that we have made, they would say no.  How can you feel deprived when you are eating homemade whole wheat bread with homemade jam? 

I used to give up and say what is the use if I can only save $5.00 a week by cutting back on something. Now I see the big picture of looking at all the small stuff and seeing how it adds up into big savings.

What small stuff do you sweat that translates into big savings over time?

Laundry Soap Update

Back at the end of December I wrote about using homemade laundry soap. At that time I had been using the powdered version and had decided to try the liquid version. Well after about 6 weeks of using the liquid version I must tell everyone that I love it. It does a very good job of getting our laundry clean and the clothes do smell fresh. I only need to use a small amount of liquid fabric softener with this laundry soap and when I say small, I am talking less than 1 tablespoon.

For anyone interested in making their own laundry soap, I use the first recipe found on Soaps Gone Buy for the liquid soap.  I can buy all of the ingredients at my local grocery store cheaper than what I can buy on line. 

There are certain tests that I do to see if a laundry soap/detergent is working. My husband sometimes wears white dress shirts and the collars get dirty.  I have been pouring some of the liquid soap on the dirty collar and I scrub it with a clean toothbrush, I bought for just that purpose. Then I toss the shirt into the washing machine. It does help to remove that “ring around the collar.” Remember that old Wisk t.v. commercial?

One other benefit I have noticed is that my skin doesn’t itch as much in the winter time now. Could it be from using a milder, laundry soap? I think so. Our towels are much softer too.

One recipe of liquid laundry soap filled 5 – 32 load size jugs, that I had saved, for a total of 32 cups. Since you only need ½ cup per load this turns into 64 loads for only 65 cents (per the prices in my town). A word of warning, the caps of the store bought detergent are different in size so I keep a 1/2 cup measuring cup near my detergent bottles.  There isn’t a coupon in the world that would bring me this kind of savings on good quality store bought detergent.

When I bought store bought detergent, I would only purchase it when there was a sale for $3.00 for the 32 load size. Normally (but not always) I would have a coupon for at least 50 cents off. This would last me anywhere between 2 to 3 weeks. So I figure that two jugs would cost me about $5.00 with a coupon.  I save about $4.35 every 6 weeks by making my own laundry soap or a total of $37.70 saved annually.  Money saved, is money earned.

I know that this may sound weird, but this is one more item I have learned to make and it makes me feel independent. I don’t have to wait for laundry detergent to go on sale. I have the supplies in my house and I can make a recipe any time I need it, which brings me great satisfaction.

I’ll never go back to buying store bought laundry soap. I’m sold for sure.

Pantry Challenge - End of January

I meant to post this last week.  The last week in January I spent $19.91 which brought my total for the month to $160.58.  I overspent by $10.58 as my budget was $150.00.  My DS told me "you posted the week before that you could easily stay on budget."  Well, that was true until I came upon a sale on bar soap.  I was able to get 8 bars of Dial soap for $2.50 and since we were down to 2 bars in the house, I purchased a few packages.  Then I was able to purchase a couple boxes of Electrasol Gel pacs (20 count) for only 99 cents after using a coupon.  Sometimes you have to over spend a little to save money in the future. 

I am so pleased with the amount of money I saved in January.  By really cutting back and watching the grocery budget we didn't feel the pinch as much when we faced some extra expenses in our budget.  Not once did we feel deprived in what we ate.  I feel I was able to stay on task by not really viewing my grocery money as a budget but as a challenge.

So instead of being on a grocery budget, I am on a grocery challenge.  Sometimes it is all in the wording.

Being Home Alone

I am asked quite often if I still like being home and yes, I do. Being home means many days of being at home alone but it doesn’t mean that I am lonely.

For many years I worked outside of the home and dealt with the public and specifically our clients. The moment I would arrive at work the phone would ring and clients would stop by to talk, whether they had an appointment or not. I would spend a couple of hours taking care of people’s needs, before I even was able to type one word on a legal document. This led to my bringing a lot of work home at night in order to keep up.

Work became an interruption to my life. Years of my life were spent burning the candle at both ends. It seemed that my work life was spilling over into my home life constantly and the lines between work and home were being blurred.

Now I have my morning cup of coffee and I decide what I am going to do that day and make my plans. The only interruptions I have are an occasional phone call. I am in control of my day which brings me great satisfaction.

It is different when you are home with small children and have no adult contact during the day. Getting away with some friends is a good idea and in many ways I feel it is a necessity to connect with other mothers at that time in your life. It is like hitting the refresh button on your computer.

I was home for a few years off and on when my boys were younger so I know what it is like to be home with a baby or toddler and have no adult contact during the day. It was harder and even though I liked being home, it wasn’t without its interruptions. When you have kids you can make plans and those plans can change. I had to be flexible with what I wanted to do in a day. A simple day planned with getting the laundry done or perhaps cleaning could take forever sometimes when my boys would want and need to go for a walk, they were sick or fussy, or just the fact that every household chore took a little longer when you are also caring for little ones. My alone time came when my husband got home from work and we ate and I would get out and go for a walk alone.

Being home alone works for me in my life at this time. I have the opportunity to meet friends for lunch when I want to or to help out at my church. These are my choices and are not interruptions. I am in charge of my life and what I do with my day.  I finally have the opportunity to focus all of my attention on my family and our home. 

Nearly every day it is me alone at home and I find that after many years of being surrounded by people in a high paced office, that home has become my sanctuary.

I have a purpose in my life right now and that is a strong desire to be home.

This is where I am meant to be.

Ironing

When I wrote the post regarding aprons, I wrote about my memories of learning to iron when I was a little girl.  I was surprised at how much more I remembered about ironing day.  First of all and most importantly my mom had the necessary equipment to get the job done.  This was typical of my mom.  After all being a homemaker was her vocation so she would have made sure that she had everything she needed to accomplish a task. 

The ironing board had a thick pad and cover.  The iron itself rested on a metal plate on the ironing board and the iron cord was looped up a rod that was clamped to the side of the ironing board.  This kept the cord up and out of the way while someone was ironing.  To the right of the ironing board was a plastic folding bin that held the items to be ironed.  All of these items had been sprinkled with water and rolled up to stay moist.  Next to the iron was a glass bottle filled with water.  There was a sprinkler top on the bottle so that you could sprinkle a little water on the item you were ironing and this helped get out the wrinkles.  Last but not least there was a can of starch to use on shirts. 

Okay, I know, right now you are thinking - hey I just take the shirts out of the dryer and hang them up and we are good to go.  Well, not in the 1960's.  I think my mom ironed anything that wasn't moving.  We ironed handkerchiefs, boxer shorts, white undershirts, tea towels, sheets, pillowcases, shirts, pants, dresses, and more.  It was a way of life until permanent press fabric was made.

Isn't it something how much a smell can take you back in time?  Some smells such as spray starch do that for me.  I love the smell of it as it reminds me of those days when my mother was teaching me to iron.  Perhaps that is why one of my favorite candle scents is "Fresh Linen."  I have always loved all things domestic so it should not be a surprise to anyone that I had a toy ironing board and iron to play with along with an entire play kitchen.  Let's not forget the ever popular Easy Bake Oven.   Okay, now I'm getting off track.

Being home all day means I have the time to do things the way I was trained by my mother.   On Monday I do the clothing laundry and on Tuesday I launder bedding, towels and any throw rugs.  So today I decided that I was going to take some of my son's 100% cotton shirts that he wears to work and I was going to iron them all at once.  Usually I grab one and iron it quickly before he needs it.  Here is the result of my work: 

Four crisply pressed work shirts all ready to be worn. 

I will admit to you that while I was ironing I watched a movie from Netflix on my little kitchen t.v.  (During my mom's day she watched the ever popular General Hospital and Jeopardy when she was ironing.)  After I was done with these four shirts I started looking around and I saw the basket of just dried sheets and pillowcases.  My mom always ironed the sheets as they did soften even more when they were ironed.  But I think the real reason she ironed them was the way they looked all nice and neatly pressed and folded in her linen closet. 

I ironed the sheets and I went one step further by lightly spraying them with a little linen scented fabric spray.  Here are the sheets and pillowcases nicely folded and ready to be put away. 

Later in the day I decided to put them on our bed immediately.  As I unfolded the sheets and I lifted them in the air to fluff them and let them fall on the bed I remembered how much easier it is to make a bed with sheets that have been neatly pressed and folded.  They just seem to fall into place. 

No, it is not necessary to iron the sheets.  The reason I will continue to do it is because I enjoy ironing and best of all I enjoy the feel of ironed sheets on my bed.  It is a little bit of work for a big luxury.  I have no children at home during the day and if I did I doubt I would take the time to do an afternoon of ironing.  It is a little dangerous to try to iron when there are little ones running around the ironing board.  I know that my mom would agree with me that she is thankful for permanent press fabrics and that it is not necessary to spend an afternoon or day each week doing the ironing.  She would also agree with me that somehow a shirt that has been pressed with a little starch always looks sharp and that yes, those sheets are nice when they are ironed.

Being a full time homemaker at the age of 50, without any children home during the day, means that I can take the time to do some extra special things for my family that I did not have the time to do when I was employed outside of the home. 

I would challenge you to find something special to do for your family this week.  It may not be ironing but it could be taking the time to bake a homemade special treat that they enjoy.