First of all, I want to wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. My
youngest son asked me this afternoon if I had shut down my blog as I hadn’t
posted anything since early December. We
had internet problems for a week and then after that problem was resolved, I
decided to take a break from blogging over Christmas.
I had the best Christmas I have had in three years. What was the difference? I scaled back on the decorating and the
baking and the cooking. The end result
was less stress and more fun with family and time for reflection.
The last two years I have faced depression that raised its ugly head in
late November and came into full force in December. In October of this year I resolved that I was
going to do anything and everything to make sure it didn’t happen again this
year.
I do not suffer from chronic depression; but more of what you would
refer to as Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder that leads to depression. Knowing this, I decided to get out of the house and
go for long walks in the fresh air with our labradoodle, Molly. I walked anywhere from 2 to 3 miles in the
morning which was a great way to start my day.
Then I made sure that I got to bed by 10:30 p.m. and I would sleep to 7:00
a.m. In other words, I got exercise and
sleep and I was taking better care of myself.
In the late afternoon when the darkness closed in, I worked more in my
kitchen where I have lots of lighting.
There are lights over the sink, under the cabinets, over the stove and a
big ceiling fan with lights in the middle of the room. If I were to turn all of the lights on, it
would be extremely bright and that is what I need some times.
I am amazed that for me getting exercise in the great outdoors and
getting enough sleep has worked wonders for me and my mood this winter. I now realize that for the past few years I
would just succumb to the expectation that during the winter this was going to
happen and I just had to live with it.
Yes, a mild anti-depressant helped, but I didn’t like the side
effects. However, if I need an anti-depressant
I would go back on one and live with the side effects and be happy rather than
unmedicated and miserable. Does this
make sense?
I realize that not everyone can control depression with exercise and
sleep but I have found that for me, this is working along with taking the time
to read and do fun things that I enjoy.
I also think that having a plan beginning back in October has helped, recognizing the signs that I may be slipping into depression and
knowing that if I need to I can call my doctor and get a prescription.
This week will test me. We have
scheduled an appointment on Wednesday January 2nd to have our black
lab put down. She is 12 ½ years old and has cancer and other problems. It is time to say good bye to her. I met with the veterinarian last week and wanted
her to examine Griffey so we could make a decision. The veterinarian told me that we shouldn’t
take her on walks anymore because of her declining health. This left sleeping and eating as the only thing
the dog could really do. This
veterinarian has cared for Griffey since she was a puppy and she knows our
dog. Finally the vet looked at me and
told me that the time had come to make the decision. So, I decided that it would be best to wait
until after New Year’s Day.
What do you do when you have one week’s notice that you will be putting
your dog down? Well, you make her last
days great days. I have given her little
bits of chocolate knowing that it doesn’t matter. We have taken her for a car ride – something she
has always loved and we have also taken her on walks – very slow ones. I am hoping that on New Year’s day we will be
able to take her out on the recreation trail that skirts around our community
and let her smell the good country air.
We will be with her at the end.
I’m not sure how our 10 month old labradoodle “Molly” is going to react
to this. She has always lived in a
household that has another dog but we have no plans to replace Griffey. Molly will just need to adjust somehow.
I will always have a dog. It is
sad when you have to say goodbye to a family pet, but I would never let that
prevent me from opening my heart to another pet. We have owned some great dogs over the years
and we have lots of wonderful memories of each dog.
I don’t want to end this post on a sad note after all I have talked
about depression and the death of a pet.
I have been pondering about what I want to do in the year 2013. The year 2012 just flew by and I didn’t really
accomplish what I wanted to accomplish.
I was way too busy most of the time with stuff that really didn’t matter
and I regret that.
So what am I going to be doing?
Well, concentrating on making my house more of a home. Back in 2008 I subscribed to a mentoring
website called the Homemaker’s Mentor.
Two times a month I would receive e-lessons on homemaking. I was working 50 plus hours a week at the
time, but my heart always wanted to be home.
I subscribed to these lessons and knew the day would come when I would
actually work on them. In 2009 when I
lost my job and stayed home, I thought that I would begin the lessons then
since I was home full time. But that
year went by and I accomplished little.
I was too busy adjusting to being home and living on less money and
while I wanted to get to those lessons it never seemed like I had the
time. The accompanying years of 2010 and
2011 seemed to be spent enjoying the last few years my youngest son would be
home and they were also spent learning to live on less and volunteering my time
at our church.
In 2012 we had the two college girls living with us and it seemed that
the urgent and day to day household tasks seemed to keep edging out those homemaking
lessons. The girls have moved out and
back into the dorms. Last week as I was
cleaning the upstairs of our home I came across those lessons gathering dust on
my desk and I decided then and there I would make the changes in my schedule in
order to do those lessons that I knew I would enjoy.
So the year 2013 is going to be spent on my homemaking skills. I’ve shared before that my mother never
taught me to really “keep house” and I struggle with keeping a household
schedule of cleaning, baking and cooking.
I have always looked at the past – 1920’s to the 1950’s as the “homemaking”
era when more women took pride in keeping their homes clean and relatively
neat. Women cared about sewing and
making things last. Yes for a lot of
women they didn’t have the choice except to be homemakers. The beauty of my life is that I have the
choice in what I want to do and this is the choice that I have made – to be a
homemaker.
I want to learn to crochet, take the time to sew more and improve my
sewing skills. I have closets to go
through and re-organize, pictures to put into albums and some to be
scrapbooked. There are rooms that need
painted and wood work to be stained.
There is a yard that needs to be seriously re-landscaped (I know nothing
about this). Yes, it is ambitious but it
is everything that I want to do. And I need to get on track with cleaning and I need help to know how to clean some things and to establish a regular cleaning schedule and upkeep schedule for our home. This is
how I want to spend my time.
When I tell people this they look at me as if I have frogs coming out
of my ears as more women feel that they were freed from the “bondage” of
homemaking in order to have great careers away from home. That’s fine for them but for me I want my
second career to be in homemaking. I am
going to truly embrace homemaking in 2013 and will report on what lessons I am working on and how I am doing.
I hope that I can encourage other women to improve their skills in homemaking
or learn new ones. Let’s get back to
homemaking and really take the time to make homemaking a priority. After all, we all end up coming home sometime
– let’s make it a welcoming and loving place to live. Are you with me?
